Archive for May, 2008
Expectations!!!
The HR manager of a company interviewed a software professional. The manager asked a lot of questions and finally asked “how much u want as salary?”
The professional said 80,000/- rupees per month with car,bonglow and servants.
The manager said we will give u 150,000 rupees per month, a BMW car (more…)
A Day in Man’s and Woman’s Life
*HER DIARY*
****************
today night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late,but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong - he said, (more…)
Santa Singh depressed
Seeing Santa Singh depressed one of his friends asks him.
“Oye why are you sad?”
To which Santa replies …“I lost Rs 300 in bet.”
His friend ask hims…“How?”
Santa Singh says..“I bet on India for Rs 200…”But unfortunately India lost
His friend queries..“But you said Rs 300…”
Santa Singh answers…“I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match”
Santa and banta jungle mein
Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.
Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.
Modernization
Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai.
Girl of 2008 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai. 
Hai koi jawaab???
A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.
The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, ‘Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?
Desi Jokes / Indian Jokes
Indian Hell:
An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks “What do they do here?” He is told “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.”
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks “What do they do here?”
He is told “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.”
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? “Because maintenance is so bad >that>>the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria…”
Least Romantic:
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes - Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “go to hell”
John Abraham:
John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila.”
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
John looked up again and said,
“Never mind. I found one.”
Little Manu Jokes
Teacher: Why are you late?
Manu: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Manu: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
Teacher: Johny, how do you spell “crocodile”?
Manu: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
Teacher: No, that’s wrong
Manu: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Manu: Me!
Teacher: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
Manu: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time.”
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Manu: Brotherly love.
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Manu: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Manu: A teacher
